Today is the 19th of April 2011. We are in the cultural centre “Prosvetleniye” nearby the Avtozavodskaya metro station. My name is Vadim Zaporojzev, I teach yoga; these are the lectures for the site www.yogatriada.ru for the like-minded persons group, studying Triad yoga – yoga of Sexual Union, Tantra yoga and Amorousness Yoga. All the information you can find on www.yogatriada.ru. I remind you that besides these lectures each of you is supposed to study yoga systematically, step by step, without gaps. Thanks to internet-yoga courses of International Open Yoga University, now it became accessible to study yoga.
Today we’ll continue discussing the point of view of Triad yoga upon our life and we go from the simple to the complex. In the previous lecture we came up to the conclusion that we need the recomprehension of what is a human before solving the problems of interrelations of a man and a woman.
It will be very hard to recommend practices, helping to solve a problem before we give an answer to this question. We came close to the theme of necessity of studying of a track of a man before emergence of these or that tasks and of dreaming up what will be after them, drawing a temporal scheme how these or that situations had been changing during our life, how we had came up to the statement we have now.
Our lectures aren’t supposed to talk about all detailed statements of yoga: who is a man and why there are certain moments in life – we’ll have a look at it rather quickly to derive at once the ready-made formulas that solve people’s problems of interrelations, we’ll put our concrete life situations in these formulas and get results.
What is human from the point of view of yoga?
We came up to the fact that each person has a physical body. It’s inconceivable to talk about a man that doesn’t have a body. That’s why a human body is an extremely important factor. Unfortunately, a modern person lives mostly in the emotional-mental world: in the world of his reveries, reflections, fears, and he begins to consider his body to be as what is given, begins to undervalue a factor of presence of physical body – it’s a great mistake of Homo sapiens! No animal would make such a mistake but a man – the crown of nature, curiously enough, stumbles over it.
Factor of the body – is an important, necessary factor, it’s impossible to ignore it! But fact of presence of physical body is insufficient to talk about human. We can devise a perfect robot, speaking as human, with a human body, with thinking of human, but there is an essential distinction – an absence of a soul. It is said more correctly in yoga about the presence of Supreme Self of every person, or in other words, Atma. We can distinguish a man by two factors: Atma and body.
What is meant by our Atma? One shouldn’t mix it up with our egoism, a conglomeration of some our ideas about us. Hera are we, we suffer of something, take pleasure in something, fear something. But what we consider to be as we, as a rule, isn’t Supreme Self, but egoism. We’ll never solve our problems if we don’t remember that frequently we just substitute these two ideas.
Imagine that there is your shade and you. The connection between your ego and your Supreme Self is the same. Sometimes it seems to us that our situations are hopeless in principle. No matter if we suffer or enjoy, all of it are reactions of our ego on the events, happening in our life.
The main conclusion from the yoga axiomatic – Supreme Self is undestroyable, it cannot die, be born, nothing can influence it negatively, somehow enslave it, poison it and so on – it’s impossible in principle. Our Supreme Self is a unique thing, and this factor is absolutely necessary for our work of discussing of these or that life problems. Many of problems will seem to us unsolvable while we don’t catch this idea. But a loophole is found, through which we can solve all of them if we begin to understand a conception of Supreme Self.
Imagine, you’ve grasped a bomb with a clockwork, which ticks; and you are in great danger until you unclasp your hands and throw a bomb away. But you need only to unclasp a hand and throw it away, a bomb will explode somewhere and you will remain safe. The same thing is here, we are in a great danger until we consider ourselves to be an ego. When we reject ego we gain a possibility to get rid of a problem, sometimes even without solving it. But only when understanding the conception of Supreme Self.
Supreme Self is higher than any conceptions, qualities, higher than the division on men and women. All of them suffer of misunderstanding of each other, and creates an impression, that they can’t understand each other in principle, they are too different, they want different things. But our I is sexless – in this life you are woman, in the next – man and vice versa. An idea of sex is not more than a catch of our ego. There no purely men’s problems and purely women’s. if you think you are a woman in this life and men’s problems don’t concern you – it’s an illusion. You won’t learn to look upon all the problems from the two sides at once, seeing the situation from the men’s and women’s point of view, until you understand it. You will get the really true knowledge of how to work out a strategy of your behavior to solve all your problems if you reject ego sex.
A man is a physical body and undesteoyable Supreme Self that is higher than any conceptions and ideas, division of people on men and women.
And between these poles apart of utmost materialism (body) and Supreme Self that can’t be measured or touched, utmost idealism (nonmaterial) – a bridge is created, a human who unites the matter and highly spiritual.
We are inclined to disbalance in Triad yoga. First we start to disregard our physical body within the interrelations of a man and woman (and it is an extremely important factor!), we think that the body is dirty, secondary, but our sublime amorousness – is a dream of man and woman relations, then we think that the relationships are first of all a physical contact, sex, while a unity of souls is secondary. Both these extremes lead to misunderstanding and sufferings in life!
If we understand rightly what is a man then we study to use both these aspects correctly in our life and at this stage already we begin to throw away many preconditions of future sufferings.
Factor of birth and factor of death.
We are born, time goes by and we die – there is a factor of birth and death. One can create theories, dogmas for a long time, but both these factors of birth and death will always be a trial stone of every philosophy. If any conception doesn’t give an answer on a question where does a man come from and where does he go after death, then this theory in principle turns to be incomplete and cannot give you the answer how to behave in your current life. A bridge between material and spiritual, human being, is born in some certain moment, lives his life and then he dies, and it seems like he disappears, flies in nowhere.
Triad yoga says that there is a law of reincarnation, that nothing starts with birth and ends with death. Imagine that you have a husband or wife in this life, and you don’t get on with each other, and all your thoughts and emotions are concentrated on jealousy, for instance. You ask yourself: “why doesn’t this man or woman always with me but with someone else?” This situation seems to you very clear and tough, requiring a definite answer. But if you look upon this situation not only within this life but within previous lives – the other view opens.
We also had husbands and wives in previous lives, and we don’t remember anything about them now. When the comprehension of this begins, then foolishness starts slackening, and a man starts to solve these problems more softly. He starts seeing the situation from more wide view. Why does a man look now at one girl, then at second, third? But, maybe all these three girls were his wives in previous lives and gathered together in this life? Of course when a man looks at three different women at the same time, it doesn’t say that all of them were his wives, I’m just saying that we can look upon all problems from more wide positions.
Logic and Superlogic in yoga.
Where is the guaranty that we can sort out such a complicated phenomenon as life with the help of logic – analysis of deaths and births? Our life is something fantastic, marvelous, it is rather superlogic. And we are forced to strain our mind, form some logic schemes. How can we consider it with a help of logic?
Triad says that we can’t prognose our current life, logic skids here, and whatever wonderful theories psychologies do possess, whatever they are great in philosophic-religious doctrines, whatever beautiful conceptions there are in Triad yoga itself, your relationships with opposite sex are incommensurably complicated.
Fortunately, there is a law claiming that the highest never contradicts logical. Life is superlogical, each of you is a god asleep and creates the universe by his will. From one hand you cut out your life despite of theory, logic, superlogic never contradicts logic, quite the contrary, with the help of logic you’ll remove all your illogicality, foolishness and then, only logic will be left that very gradually turns into superlogic. If this or that teaching possesses some grains of truth, then with the help of logic and common sense you’ll understand what is worthwhile in this teachings and what is garbage. If you use logical comprehension you will easily throw away garbage. It will immediately solve many problems connected with your foolishness. When all of it will be annihilated you will come to the level of creation of your life, the level of superlogic. It is there logic starts to skid.
A practical vital advice: there are people who are scared to think logically upon what amorousness is for not to ruin it. But amorousness comes from superlogic, so logic cannot ruin it, but with foolishness it does. The way of approaching the high states is alike way of science: to perfect your intellect, not to let it be overshadowed by feelings, to make mind itself control feelings – then will come a possibility to reach a level, when a superlogic bursts into your life in a form of amorousness, for instance. Then the mind won’t be able to control feelings in principle, amorousness by itself controls everything, including feelings. The Highest is there so all the doctrines and teachings would come to grief. Everything is extremely logical: the logic as a springboard tosses us up into a flight, without this springboard we can stay in ignorance for a long time, worshiping our foolishness.
Birth and death. The yogic and religious points of view.
Thereby, a human is a complicated phenomenon that connects material and spiritual that comes to the world, lives there and then leaves it. Where does a man come from and where does he go then indeed? Yoga says, that nothing appears with birth as well as nothing disappears with death. Each death is an opportunity for the next incarnation. When people leave us it’s like the journey around the globe. We miss somebody and ask: “Where did he go?”, but he’s already gone around the globe and came close from behind, taps on the shoulder, and returns in the form of our baby that is born from us or our friends. It is the obvious case of birth and death.
Here is another difficulty that will prevent from studying Triad yoga. Each of us was grown in the European mentality, heritage of ancient Roman empire, at the ruins of which emerged the nations with approximately common languages (the roman group of languages). But before being ruined there spread a very strong religious teaching in Roman Empire – Christianity, which came till nowadays in some form. At that period of time Christianity was a very strong, beautiful, life-asserting religion. But then the hard times came, and there wasn’t time for philosophy, that’s why only the basic moments remained: don’t kill, don’t steal. But they didn’t get to the heights of philosophy. Then the scholastics who in fact didn’t relate to the first surge of Christianity and humanism reworked this religion. Different ideas were added to armoury and in the end Christianity was covered by various dogmas and in this form reached our present time.
Avraamic religions (Christianity, Islam, Judaism) tell us nothing about human reincarnation. As a result, the idea of reincarnation seams very amazing and unusual to a western man. On default it’s taken into consideration that it is not like that, and willy-nilly it penetrated into our way of life, our self-understanding. And the eastern religions consider it to be an appalling illogicality, when a man suddenly comes from nowhere and to nowhere goes away.
In defence of avraamic religions I should say that the case is that these religions allowed to use the thing, that is called the quick methods in yoga – such powerful instruments, using which one can reach the spiritual heights within one life. Why to speak about many lives when it’s possible to achieve the highest aim and realize within this life. All religions in their initial state meant exactly this. They did not conceal the truth, they just called to concentrate on this life thus to gain everything at once. In time the true sense of religions was lost and nonviable dogmas were left. Remember the science- Galileo Galilei was kept in prison for a long period of time being accused just for the statement that the Earth is not a centre of Universe but it turns around the Sun. Bruno was even burnt for that. Why are many people afraid of religions? Because all this remind a situation when it’s forbidden to think but to follow some dogmas blindfold. It is not the fault of the Christian teaching but its trouble.
There is a statement in yoga that it is no use of criticizing neither Christianity, nor Israelites. It is everyone’s own affair. The world is diverse, you can believe in God or not. A conception of the Creator, Absolut is higher than dogmatic views. So always try to distance yourself from the religions, that will be no good for you if you begin to take away someone’s belief. God forbid you to challenge someone’s belief if you are not able to give anything in return. Maybe this are the firsts steps of spiritual evolution for the person but by your words you’ll favour some person’s criminal thoughts.
There is a tendency in yoga and religions when a man stops developing himself, he turns all his energy on the struggle with dissidents. He does little to develop himself but much to condemn the others by showing off his intelligence. It is a waste, breaching the first principal of yoga. Ramakrishna had such a parable: what is the difference between a competent man and ignorant? It is the same as between a carriage of empty and full pots with water. Empty pots clatter all the time. Like this a man, who possess superficial knowledge always argues, makes noise, fuss. If a man is filled with knowledge he behaves extremely modestly and doesn’t tend to make noise. Intolerance is a sign of superficial understanding of something.
Our task is to understand that we not only have our current life. If we start to discourse without regarding the fact of availability of previous lives then we never puzzle out our current problem.
If our current life is one of many in a chain then what we have now is a generation of what we’ve done before. Thus, if we make it clear what we want to have in future we’ll start choosing those actions from many of their alternatives that will lead to this future, and we’ll throw away all the others.
Let’s say that now you have some vital problem (a man remembers about hunger and some physical sufferings more rarely then his psychic worries), so you should understand what you want to get in future and elaborate a strategy of behaving thus to achieve these aims.
What we wished previously we have now. If we want something different we should begin to make first steps already now to get it.
Triad Yoga and sexual energy. Sex.
Hence are born various practices that are targeted to work out the subtle constituents (appetence) and material constituents (sexual interaction) between the partners.
Sexual energy in Triad yoga is the key one. And we are urged to manifest it in different ways, to implicate it in the relation with another person and to gain certain effects as a result. In some types of yoga it goes on a level of flirtation, for example, a dance – when it is both pleasant for you and your partner, but this effect is neither more nor less than sex appetence. There are a lot of practices of this kind. There are practices that use sexual union directly, where you incite your physical body, make a contact with partner and above all do very many practices during this contact: breathing exercises, vibrational (mantras) – all these actions are reinforced by the impulse of sexuality, and so all the processes run faster. It’s much more easy to study pranayama, kriya, hatha, mantra and all other types of yoga through the sexual interaction then to do it just by yourself.
We remember that birth and death are connected with each other. But remember how we’d emerged in this world. Here the third factor is added – sex. Thereby, All these three factors – birth, sex and death – are of one nature.
The attitude toward sex nowadays tends to be spread as vulgar, indecently-consumer, disgusting. The try to belittle it to the pleasant pastime. It is extremely unpleasant attitude to sex. If you follow the Triad yoga way you are to feel the same thrill for sex as you feel for birth and death.
Sex is something grandiose and the proof of that is the birth of children!
It comes out that one’s Higher Self now manifests in life, then disappears, then helps another life to enter this world . And every time we deal with one and the same channel. There is a secret of the joint of roughly-material and highly-spiritual. But we don’t understand how all is done. And Triad yoga unlocks all these secrets. As a result the connection between all of that exists and it must determine your attitude to sex as to something very high, pure because children are born as a result of that, a new Universe, you yourself were born this way.
The link between sex and immortality
We are afraid of death, it seems to us that years go by, we get old, but nothing happens in our lives or we face only disappointments – because of time pressure a terrible panic appears – that an end is near and we live only once. With this fear we feel shrinked from inside and don’t see a situation as it really is. We make abrupt movements: divorce, marry, try to snatch a piece of happiness. But more we live more we get entangled, and only the old age totally calms us down as death is not far.
Triad yoga is optimistic and according this point it sais that each of us invented death for himself, the mechanism of disidentification was created also by ourselves as it helps to diminish sufferings.
For more details I send you to our distance learning yoga courses.
The mechanism of death justified itself very well and we don’t hurry to refuse it. But if it is we who invented it, so we can also cancel it. From here some yogas are born who claim that one can control this mechanism and acquire immortality. All these types of yoga are connected with sexual practices. The key of cancelation of this death mechanism is mysteriously connected with that single canal and is hidden in what we call sex.
I want you to look upon your life from the hight of this knowledge like Yuriy Gagarin looked upon Earth and discovered that she was ball-shaped. And after that we’ll do a detailed representation – now we have to work out the main point, get the general concept. Birth, death and sex are connected.
There is a factor of birth in sex that is connected with death. And it can put off this process of death to a certain extent or control it.
I recommend you to study the course of Yoga of Dying on our internet yoga courses site to be imbued with an idea that our conception of immortal life as something very good is a great delusion, that we don’t want immortality indeed, we want happiness in this life but for some reason we confuse one with another.
So, if there is a factor of sex during life that means that there is a factor of opposite sex, interaction with it. We’ll discuss it on our future lectures and now as agreed, we’ll try to answer your vital questions and sort out your real situations.
On the previous lecture I asked you to send your questions and life stories for a discussion at lectures to: email@example.com
Question 1: at the previous lecture we discussed that we too much search to choose a partner. And after that a life continuation protective mechanism (LCPM) turns everything upside down so that we come together with first person came across. Does it make sense to create a family with just good and upright person? And with all that you have no feelings for him and he doesn’t share your interests and aims. Even if you have feelings for him for the present but you have different approaches to life and spiritual outlooks.
Answer: a problem of loneliness – is just a problem of a wrong work of our thoughts, desires, preferences, a problem of mind, nothing else. A question is where to seek a partner and who is the right person. It needs to know your age and life situation to answer this question. I wish our triad community grows into a place where you could find a partner in life but I don’t want it to become a marriage agency of course.
So, the common aims and interests of partners diminish probability of future marriages by accident. Thus, if you are young and a life continuation protective mechanism (LCPM) can wait, you shouldn’t hurry to get married with the first who comes across. If your age is less than 24 it is not such a big problem. a person is just to finish his education at this age by the canons of yoga. Of course it’s better to communicate with like-minded people and find the most acceptable partner according two following rules:
1) Firstly, do not seek for a wife or a husband, but for mother and father of your future children. Seek for a person who is decent, reliable, civilized. This factor is the most determinative in choice.
2) The second factor is your readiness to overcome ascetism together with this person. When everything is ok one can live even with crocodile. But when your partner will feel bad, ask yourself would you be able to find a common language with him and stand him in this state, would he be able to do the same with you?
And if you feel that you can be with this person together in joy and sorrow it is not so much important weather you are enamoured of him or not. If you are ready to follow the same way with him or in the name of children live everyday’s weekdays, so why not? Think over: even if you are in love now with your partner, sooner or later you will lose this feeling and come up to this choice.
So, if time didn’t come yet and it’s too early to have children, let this question do not bother you.
If you feel that it has started – and it happens to everyone, women first, men – later. And it’s like a big rift in life. At the same time you may have a lot of money, friends, you even practice yoga but nevertheless feel the lack of something, it’s like a mystic pursuit of you by Universe. You are unpleased with your life and that’s all.
I send all who are interested to a particle of Patrimonial Yoga, where everythig is analyzed more in detail. Well, if you feel, that it begins (as a rule it takes place after 30), then one should think seriously about it as you don’t have much time for a lot of experiments in your life. And if this makes a real pressure on you then the variant described in a question is quite normal.
By statistics more than 90% of marriages in India are still bound by the parents instead of children to decide. The paradox is that this doom (and marriages are dissolved there very rarely) makes people be very respectful to each other, opening a potential of each other. And the potential of husband and wife is infinite as a potential of Absolute. With all that a human possess the same potential. If there is amorousness you just see that potential, if it’s the time when it’s lost just remember of it. So if you have a dear person but you don’t feel great love for him, that is just a ground for your work of disclosure of your partner’s infinite potential, it’s just your karma that came to you now in this concrete form. I think it’s not so very important weather you have amorousness or not, if your partner shares interests with you or not. There are sometimes some interesting moments, when such marriages that bound consciously by people are more stabile. The only problem that can emerge, is the community of spiritual views. It’s very hard. Amorousness or not it’s not so very important as spiritual views. That can lead to unsolvable problems.
Question 2: Tell me please what should a girl do when her beloved man demands from her in sex those things that are completely unacceptable for her? The question stands very sharp already.”if I din’t get that – I’ll go to get it somewhere else”. Is it worth giving a man what he wants if it’s not pleasant for you?
Answer: sex is an extremely creative energy, that doesn’t consider any bans, moreover, when you try to stop your spontaneous natural display of sex, with not disappearing anywhere, it shapes such bypass forms that lead to more problems.
We should think of sexual fantasies of our partners and intensions to realize them with parity and we shouldn’t depress them. More you depress – more problems you will get in future. The question is which sexual fantasies are acceptable and which are not. Triad says that if these fantasies don’t contradict with the 1 and 2 principals of yoga – they don’t make harm to live beings and don’t waste your energy on the trifles of life- you may display as you wish – it’s your own business with partner. Sometimes it’s better to try once something and it will fall off by itself but if you don’t try it will become an obsession and grow up to the enormous size.
The thing is that a potential laid in sex is extremely creative, and every attempt to hold it is perceived as an attempt on generation continuation. An idea takes advantage of a man and makes him unhappy.
What is the second principal of yoga with respect to sex? Triad yoga sais that there is a potential within us responsible for taking pleasure and there is a potential that furthers a life continuation.
We inherited from animals a way of making sex as if we didn’t separate these two aspects but used them at once. And yoga teaches us to separate them for we could use maximally the energy of pleasure and didn’t waste the energy of generation continuation. If there are wastes of such energy, wonder to what extent is it acceptable. Sometimes it’s better to realize something, if with wastes, and forget it, then to suppress it and suffer afterwards.
But the question is different. What to do if one of the partners wants something while another considers it to be unacceptable and unpleasant. The recommendation here is the following: if the 1 and 2 principals of yoga are followed (if they aren’t I can’t recommend anything at all), there must be an answer to a question how much does a woman love, trust, how close is she with her man. Because it is that part of relationships that tells us about an internal ascetismof living together. If you feel that somehow you can help your dear person it would be great to meet his wishes, or if you can be patient somehow, why not.
The question from the auditory: and what to do with the third principal of yoga in this situation?
Answer: If a girl also accepted the 3rd principal for herself (the principal of refusal of sufferings) there are no problems at all, but if not – it’s important to understand that here a man has such a point in sex and a sexual energy has an ability to draw up the associative bonds. For instant a man thinks that he can’t realize something in his life and moreover his wife refuses to give him what he wants. All that gathers into one big limp and starts to hang over a man, making him suffer. So get the point, we help ourselves to exclude our internal sufferings by helping other to get rid of them. God forbid us to laugh at sexual fantasies of each other, you should treat them very attentively. If a partner doesn’t get a support of you he’ll just go into his shell and yes, he’ll leave.
It’s bad to provoke LCPM, so if there is an opportunity It’s better to react on partner’s sexual needs with understanding. Such a moment of mutual aid is very important. Do you remember an anecdote about the difference between paradise and hell? It is said there that people are sitting at the table with the metre-long spoons in both cases. They can spoon out food but unable to put it in the mouth with these long spoons. But the difference between paradise and hell is the following: people learned to feed each other in paradise. You should behave in this way in your life together – you do something and the other person does something in response and so on and so forth.
Question 3:If only one partner chooses to go the way of Triad Yoga, can it make good for harmonization of relationships or it is supposed that both partners should be involved?
Answer: it’s important to take into consideration what kind of relationships two people have before they get involved in Triad yoga. If you are married and have children then if one of you gets involved, definitely, it would make positive shifts in situation. If you are not quite sure in your relationships, you just live in civil marriage, for example, it’s a serious moment to look closely at each other how well you will get on with later. Spiritual contradictions are the most intense. All the questions of sex and amorousness can be solved. The most unsolvable questions is when one looks at one side and another at the opposite. In this situation it’s hard to carry a load of life. It’s necessary to weigh the pros and cons, your feelings. But very carefully. Life is optimistic. It may happen that it is now a partner doesn’t take up his self-knowledge, it’s just his time to ripen. It happens very often when girl get easily involved into yoga, actually they get easily involved in everything, but they give it all easily as well. Men are more conservative in this respect, more critical.
So if firstly a wife takes an interest in something and takes her husband in yoga, an opposite situation may happen – when wife is bored already, she took an interest in something else and a man, curiously enough, imbued with the concepts of freedom, becomes more consecutive and steady than his wife in yoga realization, and it is he who pulls her after.